Shark Links: Nov 7, 2010

Monday, November 8, 2010

Another Asshole "Fisherman"--Another Asshole Journalist

'We're gonna need a bigger boat'. 'We are going to use colloquial language'. 'We are going to sensationalize a mundane story so you can fear everything'. 'We are going to do what every other news does'. 'We're gonna need to make a reference to a fictional movie'. What am I talking about? This: 'We're gonna need a bigger boat'... Angler lands biggest ever blue shark caught in British waters

It really does look like he should have his atrophied dick attempting to come out of that rod holder. Is not that the purpose of a rod holder? Well, he looks like he's trying to rape this innocent animal after he probably killed it. Apparently necrophilia is desirable among people who like to kill innocent animals for sport.
  Naturally, here's the text of the poorly-written article:
Angler Wayne Little defied his name to land the biggest blue shark ever caught in British waters. Wayne, 41, landed the monster shark which measured 8ft in length and weighed a mighty 222lbs after a 50 minute battle. It beat the previous biggest catch by 4lbs - a record that has stood for 49 years and should raise a few eyebrows to the growing number of people wanting to swim the channel. In 2009 there were 13 attacks on humans by blue sharks resulting in four deaths - a mortality rate of 30 per cent and is greater than any other shark. Dorset angler Wayne Little (left) and Skipper of the Whitewater Andrew Allsop hold the monster 8ft Blue shark. But despite his achievement the awesome fish cannot be officially recognised as a record - because Wayne didn't kill it. Controversial rules by the British Records Fish Committee stipulate that any record fish must be weighed on a quayside or bank in order for it to be considered. Wayne, from Blandford, Dorset, used a trusted formula of measuring the length and girth of the fish to calculate its weight before throwing it back safe and well. The angling community has largely accepted Wayne's catch as the biggest blue shark caught in UK waters as the method used is recognised by the Angling rust. Wayne said: 'I would never kill a fish like that for the sake of a bit of paper telling me I'm the record holder. 'The days of fishermen killing a big sea fish and then dragging it up the quayside onto scales just to claim a record are gone, you can't do that anymore. 'The record authorities need to accept that and change the rules. 'The formula we used is tried and tested and accurate and I know that is the biggest blue shark ever caught in British waters.' Wayne caught the deadly fish during a day's fishing trip 20 miles off Milford Haven, Pembrokeshire. He used a mackerel as bait and a 400lbs line in order to snare the blue shark - scientific name - Prionace glauca. Wayne, who runs a fishery in Milton Abbas, Dorset, said: 'It was quite a gentle bite to start with but then it started messing around with the bait for a bit and I could feel then that it was going to be quite big. 'It took me 50 minutes to reel it in, it was really tiring and my knees were shaking by the end of it. It was a fair old lump. 'It was an awesome sight when it broke the surface and was the biggest fish that I have seen.' Boat skipper Andrew Alsop sat on the head of the shark to prevent it from biting Wayne and his fishing partner Martin Bowler. Wayne and Andrew then held the shark aloft in order to pose for the customery photograph before throwing it back into the water. Andrew, of White Water Charters based at Milford Haven, said: 'It would have been criminal to have killed that shark. There would have been an outcry.' But David Rowe, secretary of the BRFC, said: 'Record fish have to be weighed in a manner that is correct and accurate in order for the credibility of the record books to be retained. 'You can't jeopardise a record list going back 40 years with entries that might be inaccurate. 'At the end of the day it is a moral decision that people have to make based on if they want the record. 'A rule change is high on the agenda of the committee but the situation will still remain the same.'  Blue sharks can grow to 13ft and 400lbs and are found in oceans across the world. The biggest ever shark caught in British waters is a 507lbs porbeagle shark caught in 1993 off Dunnet Head in Scotland.
1: Nobody cares that your name is "Little", although it does describe you fairly well. Anybody could catch a shark of any size. I do not care about the size of your member or catch.
2: "Monster", "Battle", and "deadly" are frequent words used in articles like this... It is getting boring to see industry propaganda over and over.
3: Nobody should ever give a rip about whether or not the catch was a record. The only eyebrows that should be raised over this kind of propaganda should be from the media. They love this sort of sensationalism.
4: We don't want to hear your lame statistics. I doubt that any of them are correct or relevant. By the way, you spelled various words wrong in this article.
5: I'm glad that he may have let the shark go, but I doubt that he did. He can whine all about how he wants the rules changed, but the truth is he just wants to keep up this little game of his.
6: If you do not have respect for the shark, do not make it sound like you are by telling us the scientific name.
7: Sitting on the head of a shark is a fairly good assumption that you should not be messing with these animals and that you are respecting them in no way, shape, or form. This animal was not released happily. I'm sure your pansy-ass legs were trembling as you held up the shark.
8: It probably would not have been a crime to kill the shark, but Andy probably did not want anyone to make a big deal about a little game they want to play so badly.
9: Nobody cares about your statistics. Again, I know that this is article is for the lame, but a science lesson is not needed.

As one commenter put it:
Hearty congratulations on catching ths wonderful specimen. Excellant angling. Congratulations to on the release alive which was really uplifting to read. You and the skipper are are an example to us all. Come on anglers lets all catch and release and help save our sport!! Now where is my shark rod?
Congraturatuns on your wonderful comment, Dave. I'm sure that it was uplifting in a different way for you. So, you guys need to save your sport? Ha! It seems as uplifting as foot-binding to me. Many others commented on how Andrew did not get his head bitten off since the shark was alive and close to him. They claim that the shark must have been dead for them to take this picture. Haven't we seen this before? Ah, yes. The first post I made with a very similar argument, article, and picture.

UPDATE: Here is a picture posted by Sharky a while back:
"Don't Put Sharks Up Your Ass and Don't Put Yourself Up a Shark's Ass." --Sharky referencing shark liver oil in Preparation H and this picture.

---> Calvin Requin <---

---> Calvin Requin <---

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Shark Bigotry Fail

Gabe Raymer, you are the proud recipient of a Bushy, the award for gross stupidity, retardation, double retardation, obviousness, and ignorance.
Sorry, but this blog was not up and running when Gabe received his first Bushy. Here it is. For your lack of logic, consumption of a mixture of cinnamon and water in a chemistry beaker, various boners blunders, breaching of rules, frequent absences without explanation, and last(but absolutely not least), your bigotry against all of our stances on sharks at Shark Links, you have won a Bushy.

Do not worry, that is not it. Gabe is still up for re-nomination for a Bushy which I would like to give out semi-annually. There should be some good competition, though.

FYI, the Bushy is sponsored by Shark Links since The Chum Slick has basically kicked the chum bucket.

---> Calvin Requin <---

---> Calvin Requin <---

More Anti-Shark Pro-Asshole Propaganda

Today I stumbled upon another petition about sharks: Stop the Promotion of Shark Killing as Sport. The petition does not link to the article so I had to find it myself. Here it is on Urban Daddy:
Sharks... It’s a constant debate as to whether they’re lurking in the Bay. But the definitive answer is yes, yes they are. Which means: you need to catch them before they catch you. Cue the Jaws theme song. Fire up the boat. You’re going fishing... Behold Sole Man Fishing, a seafaring outfit at the ready for baiting and hooking sharks in the San Francisco Bay, now taking charters out of Fisherman’s Wharf. Now, if you’re having visions of wrestling gigantic great whites with your bare hands as the sea whips your sturdy craft to and fro, you should know those beasts are rarely seen inside the Golden Gate. But there’s a slew of other prehistoric, big-jawed fish—leopard sharks, giant seven-gills, threshers and soupfins—ready and waiting. And that’s where Captain Don and his trusty deckhand come into play. You and five of your closest angling buddies can charter a 32-footer with an ample fishing deck, onboard grill and even a heated cabin—and head anywhere between SFO, the Golden Gate Bridge and Vallejo. The method for shark fishing isn’t all that different from regular fishing, but for the slightly more powerful fight you might have to get it onboard (hint: a bat comes in handy). Nearly eight out of 10 catches will be leopard sharks, with the occasional seven-gill at the end of your line, so with a per-boat limit of three, you’ll have to choose wisely. But remember, the sharks are probably thinking the same thing...
I'm not one for ripping on innocent people, but this guy is nuts. He should get an honorary Bushy.

First, there is no debate over whether there are sharks in the Bay or not. Second, sharks are unable to "catch" humans. They can rip people to shreds with ease, but they are more respecting of humans. It doesn't always work the other way around. Third, Jaws was a fictional book and movie. Fourth, I agree, fire up that boat. Gasoline does become rather useful in that situation. Fifth, fishing should consist of you underwater without any equipment whatsoever catching anything with your bare hands--not by asshole "fishermen" and "fisherwomen" buying their way to indiscriminately killing animals for their own self-centered reasons. Sixth, you should not use "prehistoric big-jawed fish" unless you are attracted to making yourself sound smarter when you are just another dumb-shit journalist. Seventh, killing harmless animals for sport does not make your dick any larger. Here's evidence:

Asshole "Fisherman" attempts to use harmless Leopard Shark to make penis larger. Pseudoscience or not?
 Eighth, sharks are not "ready and waiting" unless they are ready and waiting for this "Fisherman", journalist, and sport-fishing balderdash industry to die. Ninth, you and five of your closest rapist angling buddies can charter a 32-footer [boat] with an ample slaughter area fishing deck, onboard grill and even a heated cabin for the pansies that might get cold. Tenth, a bat comes handy when you want to kill your rapist friends before they rape you or when you just want to kill one of these "Fishermen". Apparently bludgeoning innocent animals turns these guys on. Eleventh, the government only allows three murders per day, so pick wisely. Hey, if you voted for Basil Marceaux in Tennessee, you could have killed all the people and innocent animals you want! Twelfth, these animals are out to get you not ∵ you are an asshole, but ∵ you kill them.

Here's to the author of the Urban Daddy article and Sole Man Fishing which "should be raped by Cthulhu's thorned-and-tenticled cock until the end of time."

---> Calvin Requin <---

---> Calvin Requin <---