More Anti-Shark Pro-Asshole Propaganda

Today I stumbled upon another petition about sharks: Stop the Promotion of Shark Killing as Sport. The petition does not link to the article so I had to find it myself. Here it is on Urban Daddy:

Sharks... It’s a constant debate as to whether they’re lurking in the Bay. But the definitive answer is yes, yes they are. Which means: you need to catch them before they catch you. Cue the Jaws theme song. Fire up the boat. You’re going fishing... Behold Sole Man Fishing, a seafaring outfit at the ready for baiting and hooking sharks in the San Francisco Bay, now taking charters out of Fisherman’s Wharf. Now, if you’re having visions of wrestling gigantic great whites with your bare hands as the sea whips your sturdy craft to and fro, you should know those beasts are rarely seen inside the Golden Gate. But there’s a slew of other prehistoric, big-jawed fish—leopard sharks, giant seven-gills, threshers and soupfins—ready and waiting. And that’s where Captain Don and his trusty deckhand come into play. You and five of your closest angling buddies can charter a 32-footer with an ample fishing deck, onboard grill and even a heated cabin—and head anywhere between SFO, the Golden Gate Bridge and Vallejo. The method for shark fishing isn’t all that different from regular fishing, but for the slightly more powerful fight you might have to get it onboard (hint: a bat comes in handy). Nearly eight out of 10 catches will be leopard sharks, with the occasional seven-gill at the end of your line, so with a per-boat limit of three, you’ll have to choose wisely. But remember, the sharks are probably thinking the same thing...

I'm not one for ripping on innocent people, but this guy is nuts. He should get an honorary Bushy.

First, there is no debate over whether there are sharks in the Bay or not. Second, sharks are unable to "catch" humans. They can rip people to shreds with ease, but they are more respecting of humans. It doesn't always work the other way around. Third, Jaws was a fictional book and movie. Fourth, I agree, fire up that boat. Gasoline does become rather useful in that situation. Fifth, fishing should consist of you underwater without any equipment whatsoever catching anything with your bare hands--not by asshole "fishermen" and "fisherwomen" buying their way to indiscriminately killing animals for their own self-centered reasons. Sixth, you should not use "prehistoric big-jawed fish" unless you are attracted to making yourself sound smarter when you are just another dumb-shit journalist. Seventh, killing harmless animals for sport does not make your dick any larger. Here's evidence:

Asshole "Fisherman" attempts to use harmless Leopard Shark to make penis larger. Pseudoscience or not?

 Eighth, sharks are not "ready and waiting" unless they are ready and waiting for this "Fisherman", journalist, and sport-fishing balderdash industry to die. Ninth, you and five of your closest rapist angling buddies can charter a 32-footer [boat] with an ample slaughter area fishing deck, onboard grill and even a heated cabin for the pansies that might get cold. Tenth, a bat comes handy when you want to kill your rapist friends before they rape you or when you just want to kill one of these "Fishermen". Apparently bludgeoning innocent animals turns these guys on. Eleventh, the government only allows three murders per day, so pick wisely. Hey, if you voted for Basil Marceaux in Tennessee, you could have killed all the people and innocent animals you want! Twelfth, these animals are out to get you not ∵ you are an asshole, but ∵ you kill them.

Here's to the author of the Urban Daddy article and Sole Man Fishing which "should be raped by Cthulhu's thorned-and-tenticled cock until the end of time."

---> Calvin Requin <---







---> Calvin Requin <---