Shark Bigotry Fail

Gabe Raymer, you are the proud recipient of a Bushy, the award for gross stupidity, retardation, double retardation, obviousness, and ignorance.

Sorry, but this blog was not up and running when Gabe received his first Bushy. Here it is. For your lack of logic, consumption of a mixture of cinnamon and water in a chemistry beaker, various boners blunders, breaching of rules, frequent absences without explanation, and last(but absolutely not least), your bigotry against all of our stances on sharks at Shark Links, you have won a Bushy.

Do not worry, that is not it. Gabe is still up for re-nomination for a Bushy which I would like to give out semi-annually. There should be some good competition, though.

FYI, the Bushy is sponsored by Shark Links since The Chum Slick has basically kicked the chum bucket.

---> Calvin Requin <---







---> Calvin Requin <---

More Anti-Shark Pro-Asshole Propaganda

Today I stumbled upon another petition about sharks: Stop the Promotion of Shark Killing as Sport. The petition does not link to the article so I had to find it myself. Here it is on Urban Daddy:

Sharks... It’s a constant debate as to whether they’re lurking in the Bay. But the definitive answer is yes, yes they are. Which means: you need to catch them before they catch you. Cue the Jaws theme song. Fire up the boat. You’re going fishing... Behold Sole Man Fishing, a seafaring outfit at the ready for baiting and hooking sharks in the San Francisco Bay, now taking charters out of Fisherman’s Wharf. Now, if you’re having visions of wrestling gigantic great whites with your bare hands as the sea whips your sturdy craft to and fro, you should know those beasts are rarely seen inside the Golden Gate. But there’s a slew of other prehistoric, big-jawed fish—leopard sharks, giant seven-gills, threshers and soupfins—ready and waiting. And that’s where Captain Don and his trusty deckhand come into play. You and five of your closest angling buddies can charter a 32-footer with an ample fishing deck, onboard grill and even a heated cabin—and head anywhere between SFO, the Golden Gate Bridge and Vallejo. The method for shark fishing isn’t all that different from regular fishing, but for the slightly more powerful fight you might have to get it onboard (hint: a bat comes in handy). Nearly eight out of 10 catches will be leopard sharks, with the occasional seven-gill at the end of your line, so with a per-boat limit of three, you’ll have to choose wisely. But remember, the sharks are probably thinking the same thing...

I'm not one for ripping on innocent people, but this guy is nuts. He should get an honorary Bushy.

First, there is no debate over whether there are sharks in the Bay or not. Second, sharks are unable to "catch" humans. They can rip people to shreds with ease, but they are more respecting of humans. It doesn't always work the other way around. Third, Jaws was a fictional book and movie. Fourth, I agree, fire up that boat. Gasoline does become rather useful in that situation. Fifth, fishing should consist of you underwater without any equipment whatsoever catching anything with your bare hands--not by asshole "fishermen" and "fisherwomen" buying their way to indiscriminately killing animals for their own self-centered reasons. Sixth, you should not use "prehistoric big-jawed fish" unless you are attracted to making yourself sound smarter when you are just another dumb-shit journalist. Seventh, killing harmless animals for sport does not make your dick any larger. Here's evidence:

Asshole "Fisherman" attempts to use harmless Leopard Shark to make penis larger. Pseudoscience or not?

 Eighth, sharks are not "ready and waiting" unless they are ready and waiting for this "Fisherman", journalist, and sport-fishing balderdash industry to die. Ninth, you and five of your closest rapist angling buddies can charter a 32-footer [boat] with an ample slaughter area fishing deck, onboard grill and even a heated cabin for the pansies that might get cold. Tenth, a bat comes handy when you want to kill your rapist friends before they rape you or when you just want to kill one of these "Fishermen". Apparently bludgeoning innocent animals turns these guys on. Eleventh, the government only allows three murders per day, so pick wisely. Hey, if you voted for Basil Marceaux in Tennessee, you could have killed all the people and innocent animals you want! Twelfth, these animals are out to get you not ∵ you are an asshole, but ∵ you kill them.

Here's to the author of the Urban Daddy article and Sole Man Fishing which "should be raped by Cthulhu's thorned-and-tenticled cock until the end of time."

---> Calvin Requin <---







---> Calvin Requin <---

Shaaark!

It is not Sharky's usual comic of putting "Pig Fucker" on the side of a fisherman's boat, but this is still pretty good. The man behind Shaaark! is Phil Watson from Australia. His work comprises of the largest single-frame cartoon collection all about sharks as well as some great animations. While bathroom humor is not on the list of types of humor Phil uses, he does manage to create some pretty hilarious comics juxtaposing humans and sharks. Swim on over there if you want some great shark cartoons.

---> Calvin Requin <---







---> Calvin Requin <---

Protip: Do Not Write in Contradictory Tones.

I would like to make some dick jokes and entertain you, but it is kind of hard to do so when you do not have trolls but do have a subject worthy of respect. Last year Sharky commented on how the Shark Conservation Act of 2009 passed in the House of Representatives. This is what he said on March 3, 2009:

Not all of Congress has passed the bill, just the House of Representatives. The Senate still has to vote and Obama still has to sign it, but all indications are that this will happen very soon.

That was 1 year, 7 months, and 30 days ago. During that time about 160,000,000 sharks were killed in human hands. The bill is still in the Senate with strong opposition from Senator Tom Coburn. Coburn has yet to even read the short seven pages of the bill which would NOT need new revenue. This bill is simply asking to fill a loophole and make sure these animals are secure which would require a paltry sum of money. Relatively, if the one million is the cost, there will be major benefits to the country--not loss. Sharks are worth plenty of times more alive than dead, and they are able to reproduce to continue that investment. The whole thing is like solar panels; you buy them for a large amount but it pays itself off and then some. The cost to the world without bills like this would eventually be more than a simple fix of one million. There is no solution to oceanic extinction. We must act BEFORE we have nothing to save.
We are standing on a thick line. A line of decision or indecision. We can do this the easy way or the way that we like best but will never fix the problem and eventually create more problems. Saving sharks is not just a moral obligation, but an economic necessity. Who knows what will happen to our beloved animals? If we fall to moral degradation, corruption, and apathy, and these animals become extinct, we will be the ones that nobody listened to. To think that we are the crazy ones...
I leave you with an article. It seems as though a third of shark and ray species are threatened with extinction. I think I already knew that, but you probably did not. Oh, by the way, over 50 Percent of Oceanic Shark Species are threatened with Extinction. A nice little tidbit. Shall we sit back and watch the chaos unfold before us?

---> Calvin Requin <---







---> Calvin Requin <---